( This IS NOT directed at anyone in SH, its the "real life" people around me that inspired this )
There are some people close enough to me to at least realize that things are not rite. It is also pretty easy to tell that I have issues with trust social interaction and self esteem. So I get stuff like, believe in yourself, you are a good person, you can get through this etc. etc in fact I even get whole to this effect. They are nice thoughts, good words, even kind. What the real awful part of all that is? No one really means it. That’s not just something left over from what was done to me either. There is proof. Its in the way you never get my voicemails or texts, or how you always have to hang up rite away if I do actually get you. It’s in the way you are always too busy for to make plans, have somthig already planned no matter how far out my invite is. Why tell me I have value, even insist on it when I really have no value to you. Then there are the ones that add to the injury by saying they will be there for me when it gets tough. You know you have no intention of being anwhere near me when the worst of it comes calling on me.. False hopes and empty promisis are almost as hurtful as what got me here to begin with. Is it really that hard to say “please just go away” ? I’m not going to pretend I want to go on living this way or reashure you that everything’s alright anymore either. I wont bother you with my problems but, its not up to me to ease your conscious either.