Hello all, my name is Jessica. I've had problems with injuring myself since I was about 12. I struggled with anorexia for a few years in my teens, but I seem to have a handle on that. I don't usually self injure anymore, but when I do get the urge, I feel powerless against it.
I have a couple of mental illnesses, the worst of which is Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I worry about EVERYTHING, even if I'm just on the way to the grocery store for a few minutes. I'm also a middle school teacher, so still having a problem with self harm makes me feel like a liar and a phony. How can I be uplifting and motivational, when on the inside, I'm a total mess?
I don't have a significant stressor in my life at the moment, but this morning I told my husband that I wanted to see a professional for my mental hangups. On the heels of that, since my husband and toddler are currently napping, I was hit with the overwhelming urges. I don't want to give details right now, but I'll say that I don't cut myself anymore. I have purposely injured my wrist over the past year to the point of needing splints, then a cast, and finally surgery last summer. I thought I was done with this, but it's all I can do not to hurt myself. I'm afraid that if I tell someone, the first place I need to go is a hospital... I just don't have time for that.
What a drag this stuff is...