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Guidance Counselor?


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23 replies to this topic

#1 Guidance Counselor?: post #1 Lia_15

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Posted 30 March 2014 - 04:26 AM

I went to the doctor a few days ago, and after gathering up the courage to tell her that I needed help because I SH and have anxiety, she told me I needed to go speak to someone. She said I needed to see a psychiatrist, and I told my mom.
Now, my parents aren't the most understanding. They're Christian, and sort of use that as an excuse to shut me out when I say something they don't want to hear. I got caught cutting three years ago, and they tried to beat the SHing out of me. I made things worse, of course, and I'm afraid to tell them I really need help.

My friend suggested that i tell my guidance counselor at school about my SH and anxiety, and that he would try to get me the help I need.
But aren't they required to tell parents about stuff like this? And I'm being told that I would have to be hospitalized as well. Is this true?
Is there any way he can help me without getting my parents involved?


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#2 Guidance Counselor?: post #2 degrassikid

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Posted 30 March 2014 - 09:07 AM

Guidance counselors are required to tell the guardians if the minor is hurting themselves or someone else (or planning to) but just because they tell your parents does not mean they will put you in a hospital, there are many different ways to treat SI and you and your parents should talk and work together on how you can help yourself 



#3 Guidance Counselor?: post #3 Lia_15

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Posted 30 March 2014 - 10:47 AM

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@degrassikid :
My parents wouldn't let me get help. They'd get mad at me, like they normally do.


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#4 Guidance Counselor?: post #4 Ratticus

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Posted 30 March 2014 - 03:21 PM

Well if your parents have beat you in the past for self harm, I'm sure telling the counsellor that would help. But it might also prompt a call to CPS (child protective services).

A counsellor I had at school understood that I wanted to tell my mum myself. She didn't tell my mum, she waited for me to tell her when I was ready.

Is there any way you could tell your parents that you need help with managing anxiety, without mentioning self harm? Then perhaps if you got the help you need, then you could tell the psychiatrist/therapist etc, why you dont want them to know. That they get mad and shut you out and it's not helpful to you at all, especially while you are trying to help yourself with these issues.

Goodluck :)

#5 Guidance Counselor?: post #5 Lia_15

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Posted 30 March 2014 - 05:26 PM

Well if your parents have beat you in the past for self harm, I'm sure telling the counsellor that would help. But it might also prompt a call to CPS (child protective services).

A counsellor I had at school understood that I wanted to tell my mum myself. She didn't tell my mum, she waited for me to tell her when I was ready.

Is there any way you could tell your parents that you need help with managing anxiety, without mentioning self harm? Then perhaps if you got the help you need, then you could tell the psychiatrist/therapist etc, why you dont want them to know. That they get mad and shut you out and it's not helpful to you at all, especially while you are trying to help yourself with these issues.

Goodluck :)


I tried. To tell them about the anxiety, I mean. Same issue. Same answer. Nothing happened.


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#6 Guidance Counselor?: post #6 quietplaces

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Posted 31 March 2014 - 01:31 AM

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I think the best thing would be to tell your counselor. Your parents are legally obligated to help you and if they refuse you may be able to make a case for getting help yourself without their consent.
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#7 Guidance Counselor?: post #7 Lia_15

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Posted 31 March 2014 - 06:34 AM

I think the best thing would be to tell your counselor. Your parents are legally obligated to help you and if they refuse you may be able to make a case for getting help yourself without their consent.


I know I should. But I keep freezing up. I don't think I can do it.


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#8 Guidance Counselor?: post #8 quietplaces

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 02:43 AM

I know it can be scary. I had to have several conversations with my guidance counselor back when I was in school. Some were voluntary, some involuntary. And honestly, the best thing to do is to make the first step yourself, it always went better when I went in myself and asked for help. Yes it's scary, but you CAN do this.



#9 Guidance Counselor?: post #9 Sussex mum

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 06:36 AM

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Anxiety can make you your worse enemy.

It sounds like you have already "had the conversation" in your mind, (yet another "trick" anxiety can play), the counsellors are trained to guide you and help you.

Making the initial conversation may well feel like an impossibly hard thing to do but you CAN do it. You've already found the strength to mention it to your parents, join this group and start this post.

 

Help is there for you so please seek it from the guidance counsellor.

good luck

Claire

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#10 Guidance Counselor?: post #10 mothermichela

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Posted 04 April 2014 - 01:12 AM

dear lia

have you tried asking the counsellor? maybe is is restricted by doctor-patient relationship and he doesnt have to talk to your parents, especially if you tell him that they already know and  have reacted badly and have not supported you. 

love



#11 Guidance Counselor?: post #11 Lia_15

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Posted 05 April 2014 - 03:44 AM

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dear lia
have you tried asking the counsellor? maybe is is restricted by doctor-patient relationship and he doesnt have to talk to your parents, especially if you tell him that they already know and have reacted badly and have not supported you.
love

I think I'll ask. I chickened out this whole week.


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#12 Guidance Counselor?: post #12 pilotLight

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Posted 05 April 2014 - 08:31 PM

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Something that helps me when I keep chickening out is writing it on paper and giving it to the person to read.  : ) You can do this, you've made it this far. Best of luck to you.


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#13 Guidance Counselor?: post #13 Lia_15

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Posted 04 May 2014 - 04:18 AM

To all who are interested, I never did it. My fear of my parents discovering is much greater than my desire to get better, I guess.


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#14 Guidance Counselor?: post #14 Sussex mum

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Posted 06 May 2014 - 06:32 AM

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You've not chickened out, you've just not spoken to the counsellor YET.

baby steps.

you have said on here that you need the help, asking for it takes a lot of courage and for it to be effective, it needs to be on YOUR terms and right for YOU at that time.

 

dont despair


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#15 Guidance Counselor?: post #15 LittleMissHideYourScars

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Posted 11 May 2014 - 06:37 PM

@Lia_15, My Social Worker, and Vice Principal know for me, and a few other people in my school. As far as I know, they only called parents if they found blades after a student denied them, OR if the student was caught SHing on campus. While in some cases they do have to tell by school rules, there are conditions where they are not obligated to tell. My social worker asked me where I cut and then asked to see it to double check that it hasnt been recently, and told me it was going to stay between us. As for being put in the hospital- if your parents aren't gonna get you help, chances are they aren't going to put you in the hospital. There is however a way to be put in the hospital for SH. My stepsister is gonna have to next time my mom see cuts, she is being Vaporacted(i think thats the word....) but basically you're locked in a room for a day or 2.= very unlikely you'd have to go through it. My dad knows I have SHed about 6 months ago and thinks it is for attention, so we don't talk about it, and a friend of mine is the only one who really knows its not over...and she is hinting that it's for attention, so really I think a school conselor/social worker is sorta the best way to go bc they focus more on the real reason, and work on uncovering the emotional reasons......and they don't HAVE to tell your parents-mine didnt :)



#16 Guidance Counselor?: post #16 Lia_15

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Posted 11 May 2014 - 08:01 PM

@Lia_15

Thank you! I hope this is true.. I did hear that someone did the same thing and ended up getting taken away in handcuffs. I don't need that. This was at the school i go to though, so maybe that's just us.


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Edited by Lia_15, 11 May 2014 - 08:02 PM.


#17 Guidance Counselor?: post #17 LittleMissHideYourScars

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Posted 11 May 2014 - 08:11 PM

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Well, I'm noticing you are from Fl, and I've lived there in the past, and maybe it's just Lakeland, but where I was they had 10 police officers and (no offence) just a really bad school. if they were taken away, I doubt it was just SI- it  was probably blades, lighter ect (which school do consider weapons brought w/ intent bc other students can get ahold of them....) or something else. If it wasn't his first offense then I could see handcuffs, but juts going to the conselor for help, I don't think they would do anything. I have a stepsister who's conselor found out when we were in Fl. together and I told my stepsister if they ever asked for contact info to notify parents, to give them my #....they never called. I really don't think you'd get in trouble for notifying them of the problem/asking for help......


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#18 Guidance Counselor?: post #18 fearof_fallingapart

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Posted 16 May 2014 - 05:48 PM

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IM IN THE EXACT SAME SITUATION
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#19 Guidance Counselor?: post #19 LittleMissHideYourScars

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Posted 16 May 2014 - 07:17 PM

@fearof_fallingapart, which? the school knowing or think about going to the guidance counselor?



#20 Guidance Counselor?: post #20 Lia_15

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Posted 24 May 2014 - 05:43 AM

.


I'm gonna find out exactly what happened. But they have my parents' contact info on
file, so I wouldn't be able to get away with giving them another number.


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